It's interesting how life works isn't it? How one minute your living in colour, the next it's all black and white. A relationship that took minutes, days, weeks, months and years to build can be broken down in a snap of a finger. But it's the process of forgetting, the process of letting go that takes time. Because, those mintues, days, weeks, months and years can't be easily thrown out. If you gave it your all, it'll be awhile until you can actually smile without hiding any hurt behind it.
I hate getting to know people. Because, 1 out of those 100 people will start to mean something to me and well this is how the cycle goes. Trust -> Attachment -> Disappointment
There actually hasn't been a time yet where that cycle never lead to disappointment.
Maybe I'm the disappointment? It would make a lot of sense, since everyone gives up on me. They all do.
I should never put anyone before me. I should never want to make the other person happy, screw what I want. That's easy to say, but so hard to do. Where did I go wrong?
Hi Ankita!
ReplyDeleteI read your new posts. I hope the decisions you have to make will become easier for you. Interesting you are caught right in the middle of "hating high school" but not wanting to commit to a decision regarding post-secondary. Just remember, your generation has been designated the transient one in terms of job choices and career paths. A economic professor at Carleton lectured about how your generation will change jobs a minimum of 6 times. You will value your free time more than a pay raise so vacation time will be your priority when negotiating with your boss. Rapid changes in the job markets and types of jobs available dictate that your generation will have to be flexible and adaptable.
All this to say that even though you feel like you are making huge decisions now about your future and are stressed by this, it isn't a lifelong commitment - you are just choosing somewhere to start. Try and enjoy the ride.
Your other post talked about trust and attachment and disappointment. I think we have all been through this, but like the lottery, sometimes your number will come up, and your gains will surpass all the losses combined :)
Ms. Morton